I’m not really sure why my brain keeps coming back to the same ideas but I’m sure there is a reason there. Every so often I start considering going back to uni/college and training to be a teacher.
About half way through I decided that I was going to graduate and then going to go straight into a PGCE ? I hadn’t decided what age I was going to teach but I knew my specialism would have to be drama. I started getting my experience together to do secondary education but having been back to my old upper school and to a few others, I decided it wasn’t for me. How was I going to control a class of students who 75% were taller than me!
So then I think what about doing Primary Education – I loved teaching the kids at church in that age range, why don’t I tried that. Well I went off did my experience and got my application in. I was feeling bit better about teaching primary but my heart still wasn’t in it. Kewey once said that because of the amount of work that there is involved in teaching if your heart isn’t in it, then it isn’t for you. I kinda wanted to know that with 100% of my being that was what I wanted to do.
Well I was offered a place on Primary Education but my specialism would be Italian (new curriculum meant that Modern Foreign Languages were being brought in at KS2 rather than KS3). I hadn’t spoken Italian properly for about 4 or 5 years – I could just about saying what my name and a few other bits and pieces but nothing to convince an interview panel that I could teach a class of 25-30 7 years olds the basics of Italian.
So why am I writing about this now? In all honesty I have no idea. I looked at applying for a new job at a company near my house – I would be a receptionist – but I would be literally 10 minutes walk from home so I could walk to work and go home for lunch. But I would have to take a pay cut. I keep dithering over whether to apply or not – I have the application sat in my email inbox. Do I want to leave where I work at the moment? Do I want to have that “new girl” status again? Why would I want to work for this other company?
I’m a little fed up of thinking “why don’t I do…..” and then my brain kicks in again, and I come up with a long list of reasons why I can’t do that thing. The bakery/coffee shop would be a great idea but I can’t cook as much as would need to be and could I afford to get it off the ground in the first place and employ a second person.