I’m throwing this question out there, then again in a way I might be just stepping up onto my soap box. I promise I won’t be up here long. So I don’t have a pregnancy story or a birth story or something like that (well at least not yet – maybe one day I guess) so what qualifies me as a “Mummy Blogger”?.
Then again is it one of those titles that carriers with it massive negative connotations. I went off to google “Mummy Blogger” really I wanted a definition if that was possible but then got sucked into one of those internet worm holes that sucks your time and then you realise that you only had meant to read that first link but then read five and your hot drink is now cold. Anyway, I googled, I didn’t come up with anything but then again with the blog posts that popped up I’m wondering if those negative connotations go further that just a tiny opinion in this massive world. First up, there was the New Statesmen website followed by The Guardian.
So are there other bloggers out there blogging about being foster parents and do they struggle to find other foster mummy bloggers like I do? And do we count as Mummy’s in the same way (the debate of whether Mother’s Day counts for Foster Mum’s took a chunk of Mother’s Day weekend a couple of weekends ago.
Now what has prompted this……….well when Our Sidekick came to live with us in a rash moment I signed up to various newsletters etc. One being for Brit Mums – I figured that there had to be someone out there who was in a similar boat, well I’m guessing there is but for now I still feel like the odd one out – so someone, anyone please tell me I’m not the only blogging foster mum!
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Image from here.
Interesting question! I think you are a mummy blogger in one sense, in that you blog about the joys and challenges of caring for a teenager, and your life as a family together. But that is just one aspect of your blog, you didn’t set up the whole thing just to write about parenting stuff. And you are certainly not a mummy blogger in any kind of negative way – definitely not in an “evangelical parent” Mumsnet kind of way – I think I might stop reading if that were the case! Basically, your blog reflects your life and being a foster mum is part of that. Interesting that you are struggling to find others in a similar situation to link up with, most issues in life generally have online groups and lots of blogs devoted to them. Incidentally on the mother’s day question – yes, yes, yes it counts for foster mothers. It is about showing love and gratitude for our mothers, and foster kids have extra reason to have gratitude to a foster mother, who has chosen to look after them despite whatever issues there may have been in their lives (whereas our natural mothers, not to put too fine a point on it, are stuck with us!).
Hi Ian, thank you for the comment.
I’m glad I’m not an “evangelical parent” and hopefully I cover enough other stuff that you don’t leave – lots to come this week as all sorts have been happening around here.
I think if you want to identify as a mummy blogger that’s completely legit. I suspect a lot of foster parents don’t share a lot online because of all of the restrictions that come with foster parenting – no posting pictures online, no using names, no obviously identifying features, which complicates blogging about life as a foster parent. The only other foster mum I know of who blogs is Emily McCoombs over at xojane (http://www.xojane.com/author/emily) who has a toddler. She doesn’t share a lot about fostering and writes across a whole range of subjects. But as to fostering communities, I’m not sure. I feel like there would be some somewhere, but who knows. Good luck in your search.
I think the photos that I have posted have been of Our Sidekick’s hand or his hair. The one where he appears in the whole picture he’s covered by a blanket and was running round the kitchen like a dementor from Harry Potter.
I’ll have a look at xojane a bit later. Thanks for the comment.
I don’t think that you have to box yourself into one area. I was SO surprised when someone (in person) looked at the Nerd Nest and said, “Oh! I have a category for homemaking blogs!” I never would have thought of my blog as about homemaking, because of the connotations I have with that word, but I guess it sort of is. (I like to think of it as a crafty family lifestyle blog.)
You are a mom, and you blog about being a mom, so that’s part of your blogging process. I think that the problem with things like mother’s day is a narrow definition of motherhood. I don’t know the story behind the discussion, but it’s likely that Sidekick might have felt like celebrating you on Mother’s Day might be in some way traitorous to his other mom. I don’t have any problem with this concept because I grew up with step-parents. Father’s Day was about my biological dad AND my stepdad (and my grandpas) and mother’s day was the same. I never felt like celebrating my step parents in any way belittled my celebration of my biological parents, but that’s because I could celebrate with all of them. I can see that Mother’s Day has to be hard, because it’s not just a day to be thankful to you, it’s also a day that will bring up very acute feelings of loss for him. (But, of course, that’s all without me having any idea of the context of your situation.)
I follow a lot of adoption blogs from all of the sides of the adoption triad (First Moms, Adult Adoptees, and Adoptive Parents), but blogs about foster care have been really hard for me to find. My favorite blog by and adult former foster kid who aged out ended up being turned private because people were horrible to her because she was open about her bad experience. I think that the resources are really limited because, as Melissa said, what you can share is pretty darn limited.
One of my favorite blogs, Rage Against the Minivan, is a Mommy blogger of sorts, and she has a child adopted through childcare, a child from international adoption, and two biological children. http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/
I like I’m A Foster, a blog by an adult former foster kid: http://www.imafoster.com/
I’ll let you know if I stumble on any more good ones and I’d love it if you’d do the same for me!
Wow! Megan thank you for the epic comment! Am currently holding Chris’s iPad hostage so thought I’d reply to your comment.
I don’t think I try and get into one box but it is just like a side of me lol. I think it was one of those random crazy thoughts that pinged into my brain while standing in the shower or something helpful like that.
I think “crafty family lifestyle blog” fits yours quite well. Mine is random lifestyle as it doesn’t really fit in any bracket lol.
A friend of mine commented before that because Our Sidekick’s Mum is still “on the scene” in a way that some might struggle with whether we should celebrate and possibly how we celebrate as well. It is hard when I’m doing the mum stuff all week apart from the couple of hours that he sees his Mum but I think I agree with you the he might think it’s traitorous. I guess coming from a “normal” nuclear family with two parents and two children that I don’t necessarily understand other family set ups. One of my friends at school is one of five children from one mum but the three eldest have a different dad to the two youngest.
I’m going to have a look at both of the blogs that you suggested. I think I used to read Rage Against The Minivan but haven’t read it in a while.
I think it can be hard to talk about what’s going on without talking about what’s going on lol. In the first instance this is why he’s called Our Sidekick but now he’s old enough for Facebook and things like that it’s almost harder to protect him in a way.
Hi Hannah,
I have been searching for blogs about foster parents too, and all I have managed to find is yours! (Which I am glad about!)
I have just started my own blog about the process of becoming a foster parent (we are in the VERY early stages) – if you have since found any interesting blogs I’d love to hear of them. I’m looking for all sorts of inspiration to get me going!
Thanks in advance and I look forward to reading more of your blog 🙂
Xxx
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