Back in October, five years ago, I went to work with three people living in our house and then I came home to four.
Usually the “Us at…” is followed by how many years Chris and I are celebrating along with facts about how life is different now to how it was when we first got married. This time I’ve given it a shake up.
Our Sidekick came to stay with us temporarily and that temporarily turned into more a more permament arrangement.
How did we end up fostering? Did we plan on being foster carers?
Nope. At least when Our Sidekick came to us, fostering (and adoption) was something we’d consider maybe further down the line once we’d had our own kids or if things didn’t work out. Then Our Sidekick came into our lives and kind of didn’t leave!
Then three years ago, around this time we found out that Blueberry (who would be come to know as Jaxon) was coming to join the party.
Now there are four of us.
In a way, it’s our fifth “anniversary” however in a way it’s bittersweet. In a way we want to celebrate Our Sidekick becoming part of our family but that also comes with the pain of not living with his biological family.
Fostering has been a mixed journey. Yes, Our Sidekick has had his rough patches but also he’s had his good times too. There have been occasions when we’ve genuinely considered whether having Our Sidekick with us still is the right option but thankfully that was just a rough patch and once a few things were put straight, it calmed down again and Our Sidekick was a pleasure to be around again.
He’s loved playing the role of big brother. Even when Jaxon was still a bundle of cells the size of a Blueberry he was excited. My 20-week scan happened to fall in February Half Term. So we gave Our Sidekick the choice of whether he wanted to come to the scan. At first, I think he wasn’t sure it was his place to come with us but once he came along to the scan, he was memorised being able to see this little baby on the screen and got to meet his little {foster} brother or sister.
Our Sidekick was worried about holding Jaxon for quite along time after Jaxon was born. He was worried he would drop Jaxon or hurt him in some way. I think once Jaxon was less newborn, Our Sidekick realsied that he wasn’t going to hurt Jaxon. And now with Jaxon being nearly two and a half I think he realises that Jaxon is more resilient and doesn’t break at the slightest touch.
I think he’s still nervous about taking Jaxon out further than the shop by himself for example. But I think his confidence grows each time. Jaxon thinks the world of Our Sidekick. I’ve found him standing outside of Our Sidekick’s room banging on the door and shouting his interpretation of Our Sidekick’s name. Some days I think Our Sidekick hates being the favourite big brother but his best friend soon sorts him out. Occasionally they all hang out in the garden and Jaxon has a wail of a time!
To us, Our Sidekick is part of our family and always will be. His social worker is discussing about what’s next after he finishes school and what does he want to do. We just know that there will be space for him here to come back and call home.
Would we choose fostering again? Who knows. Let’s see what God has got planned for us. Would you foster or adopt?
