016: 100 Word Challenge

You can find the prompt here.

100 Word Challenge: Week 27

This week is a bit different – rather than writing a story like normal, we are creating 100 word critiques of last weeks stories. Well first up I have to pick a story.

I chose this one from HerMelNess Speaks:

I looked down, aghast at the numbers blinking up at me.

That can’t be right.

Since that would mean I weighed the equivalent of a light aeroplane or a baby elephant. Or maybe a not so light aircraft and a full-sized adult elephant. I’ll look up those statistics after replacing the batteries in these damned scales.

That would be it, of course.

Deficient batteries leaking spurious, poisonous LED digits.

Albeit a nagging voice, lodged somewhere in the pit of my large stomach, opines I might regret the way I acted with that Sales Assistant, since 175 lbs would not, indeed, fit into that Aquamarine dress.

 And here’s my critique:

I know this feeling, standing on the scales and being convinced that the scales are lying. I’ve found standing on one leg or leaning funny doesn’t really work. I love the idea that the batteries some how leak extra digits onto the display.

I like how the prompt words we were given by Julia blend into the story and have become part of it rather than just squished in here and there to make sure you complete the goal.. I did have to look up what “opines” meant as after the first reading I thought it was a typing error,

2 comments

  1. HerMelness Speaks says:

    Hello, Hannah.

    I thank you and, as is the way with these things, I’m sure you’ll see the word ‘opines’ everywhere now!

    Not having had a moment to even scratch my behind, I haven’t yet caught up on this week’s mission. (Don’t tell Julia!) This was a very considered way to catch up with it. So, thank you again.

    I am also loving your blog design. Very original.

    My best, HMSx

    • Hannie says:

      Hey 🙂

      You’re welcome 🙂 I haven’t seen if anyone has critiqued my 100 Word post yet – I guess it’ll pop up at some point.

      I know that feeling about being busy – probably why I’m sat on the sofa avoid chores as I have a cold 🙁

      Have a great weekend.

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