Dear Monday, I’m sure you’d be a lovely day but between the hours of midnight and 8am I don’t want to see you!!! Today I saw you til about 2:30am and then again around 4ish – I really didn’t want to see you!!!! I wanted to be asleep!
Dear Crochet, for years I couldn’t master you. Now I’ve got the hang of granny squares and flowers and now I struggle to put you down. I want to go to Tudor Rose at lunchtime and get some more wool. Firstly it’s chucking it down and secondly I think Chris would tell me off if I bought more wool – maybe I need to crochet what I have first.
Dear Ace of Cakes, I love your show, I love the crazy cakes that you come up with and I want to be friends with Mary Alice but the signal keeps cutting out on our TV when your show is on – why?!??! Clearly our TV has a think about me watching cookery shows or something either that or Chris hacks the TV on purpose in case it gives me ideas. Sometimes I manage to watch through the bad signal but it gets annoying and makes my head hurt sometimes.
Dear Body, I really wish you would just behave yourself – why do you make me feel ill when I have stuff to be getting on with?
Dear Chris thank you for my flowers on Saturday. I’m just sorry I was half asleep and the flowers were wilting by the time I got up on Sunday.
