What do you do when you want to help a good friend…. but they maybe don’t see what you are trying to do. Maybe they do know that you want to lend them that set of ears, but they just need that little bit of space to think things through. This is where a friendship become challenging.
How well do you know your friend to find you and trust you in their moment of need?
A huge part of this comes down to the strength of trust between your friend and yourself. You may have the best of friendships with somebody, have all the trust in the world in that person, but the strength of that trust may be fragile. It may well be that the “issue” which is bothering your friend may be unrelated to you. It could be that you or nobody is the best person to give an opinion.
[source]
Whatever it is, one hopes and prays that at the end of it all, your friend gets back to their fighting best knowing well that they were always in your thoughts, and you were always that one step away from them if they looked your way.
Thanks for hosting me H, you certainly DO rock, and hope to see you in action soon!!
I have been the Cookie Monster, and I have kept is short for a change! You can find my crumbs on It’s as simple as putting the biscuit in the basket.
Thanks Cookie Monseter, So much of what you wrote is so true, I am really grateful to be surronded by such good friends who I can trust and who are there when I need them, Hany Pants being one of the best friends you could ever wish for. I agree with yuo that she rocks 🙂
.-= David´s last blog .. =-.
Trust is very important in a friendship. Having been the “depressed” friend numerous times, it is always important just to have someone around, just in case you feel like talking. Just having someone there, that’s what matters the most.
It’s a tough call – I’ve heard the “let them know you’re there” line before, and in some cases it’s very much true. But with some situations people either don’t know how to ask for help, don’t realise they need help, or are prevented from asking for help.
The really crucial thing in friendship is learning to discern in which situations you absolutely MUST step in. I’ve cried lots over this very issue – having escaped from an abusive partner I’ve had friends say things along the lines of “we knew X wasn’t treating you right”. My reaction to this is “why the heck didn’t they step in, offer a way out”. That’s what hurts, along with the rest of the rubbish I have in my head about the whole situation.
I’m not writing this to ‘have a go’ because what Cookie Monster says does really apply in a lot of situations – but, as I said, discern those serious situations when you need to step in – before a friend is lost forever… and believe me, it almost came to that. But Jesus, the closest friend took me out of that situation; no longer a slave, I was brought and freed at a price!!!
sometimes the best thing is to let them be.
not every one needs an ear and not every one needs a shoulder…
it just differs from person to person, and a lot of them including me dont actually need anything from friends except some space to let our thoughts be 🙂
H – Once again, thanks for having me over! 🙂
@David, @AD – It’s a conundrum which I faced recently, and me not being able to help my friend absolutely contradicted my ‘brand’ of friendship… but sometimes (well, always really; but..) you have to respect your friend and their dilemas. A true friendship ALWAYS pulls through in the end… it’s a lesson I keep observing 🙂 I know mine will too!
@Sarcastically Bitter – Definitely… presence is needed… but friendship is being there at any place at any time, right? 🙂
@Hazel – sad to read your experience 🙁
Sometimes, when things get far, yes – I guess you cannot hang back; but it’s what you say – knowing the right situation do step in… strength of character and friendship dictates that…. hey!that word comes into play again! 🙂
Comments are closed.