067: Dear Lydia – A Response

I think that describes the friendships I have made over the last few years – some via Twitter some through the blogs I read on a regular basis. I can’t remember how exactly I started reading Lydia’s blog but somewhere along the line I started commenting lots – I wrote this as a comment on her post but it was getting so long I posted it as a comment on her post and then also decided to share it as a blog post here.

You can read Lydia’s original post here.

I do recommend that you read it – it’ll give my post more context and it also means a lot to Lydia.

Thank you

Good Morning Lydia.

I’ve just seen this having started reading your Coraline post.

I AM A NERD. I AM A GEEK you can use whichever you prefer but I am one – I had a reading age higher than most of my class – I wasn’t the brightest when it came to maths but I was probably in the top 10% of the class or something like that. You only have to look at what me and my friends went onto do after school and I wasn’t the brightest – my friend went on to study Biochemistry or something like that and now I’m brainy by association. I am a social media nut, I love sci-fi like Star Wars and Star Trek. I’d rather stay in and read a book then go out for a run or something energetic.

I was the kid who spent every lunch break in the library or the music room – partially to avoid the bullies but also to keep my head down and get on with stuff. At one point I was a student librarian so that I could be in the library as much as I liked! In Sixth Form I’d volunteer to use my free lessons to cover the library desk.

I was the kid with unbranded trainers at school – My parents couldn’t afford branded clothes when me and my brother were young – I think my first pair of branded trainers were for like my 14th birthday and I bought them at a factory outlet store with my birthday money – I wore them until the sole was smooth and the back where my heel was had worn through to the outer leather layer! That’s how long I wore them – Not because I couldn’t afford a new pair just because they were mine and they kinda were an important pair lol.

My Mum used to make me summer dresses and homemade clothes and somewhere around my teens I stopped wearing them (I think also my Mum got busy doing work stuff. I am so excited for when she has grandkids – I think they are going to be having knitted jumpers every Christmas lol).

I really struggled to fit in at school, I was a bit of a teacher’s pet and was always trying to help – I think one of my love languages is Acts of Service so I almost helped out here, there and everywhere because it made me feel needed. I ran the 800m at sports day even though I suck at running and knew I would come last because hardly any of my class volunteered.

When I was about 14 I started watching Buffy and loved Willow because she was the geek and somehow that worked for her. But how would I get my geek-ness to work for me? Well I’m not sure somehow it was survival of the fittest until the end of school – I got into uni by the skin of my pants and met like-minded people who genuinely wanted to be my friend and liked me for me with all my geeky slightly crazy ways.

And that geekiness has now helped me in my job. I had issues when I first started my job to the point that my manager pulled me and I got an epic telling off, in all seriousness I think I should have been fired at that point, my manager didn’t owe me anything yet he saw something in me that he knew just needed to be nurtured. Well it was my IT skills and the fact that I knew my way round a computer that saved my butt I think I was put on like probation and here I am four years later still in the same job. It’s a running joke in the office that I am a geek and that I can recite the most random facts.

The way I see it is that yes Nerds are people too but with being nerdy being a trend it makes me on-trend for the first time ever I think!

I think I am a geek but I’m also a friend, a sister, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, a fairy godmother. I am a person.



  1. Lily says:

    I sincerely and truly love my sweet, beautiful, truly amazing, geek daughter. I am so glad she inspired you to tell your story. I am glad that you have embraced yourself for all your are! Because you are absolutely fabulous!

    Lily-Thinking Thoughts

  2. Becca S says:

    I have to say, I had a lump in my throat reading this. Firstly because I hate the way we always find ourselves inhabiting boxes, but more importantly because I think you are amazing, and the thought that people might not be able to see that seems madness to me.

    Great response though Han, and thanks for sharing xxx

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