Just a little moan

I don’t tend to moan and whinge on my blog because I know that my life is a whole bunch easier than the people around me but today I really want to moan and rant about stuff because I don’t know what I’m doing or where I’m going.

I don’t dislike my job I just think I am getting bored with it. I spend every day in front of a computer answering the phone answering emails and fulfilling orders. I don’t mind it because I set myself personal goals – how many orders did I do yesterday? Let’s see if I can do 5 more today.

But I don’t want to be here for years and years or anything like that. I was given an opportunity at church. I could go back to university and study to be a children’s worker but with all the house stuff ideally at the moment I need a job to support that idea – I need 48 hours in a day so that I can go to work to pay the bills but also go to college to study.

Then again maybe I am on the wrong track and my prophesy wasn’t about studying – maybe I’m going to be an Admin peep in the office at the university or something like that. (As I sit here I feel like I’m going to burst into tears and have no idea why – there is just this gigantic lump in my throat and my hands keep getting the shakes – that’s not good lol).

The sales guys in my office often talk about how little they like the foreign travel part of their jobs. I know the novelty would kind of wear off after a while but I want to do the travel bit can’t I just go once and prove how good I am etc. But no not now, I am here behind my desk succumbing to my worries and stresses.