Around a decade ago, I started my first blog. I guess the Grandma of this one in a way. I would write about what I’d found on the internet that day or what had been going on. It had seen me through grief, happiness, becoming a superhero (of sorts), becoming a foster carer, dramatically changing jobs and becoming a mum.
But somewhere along the line I started worrying about what I was writing rather than just getting on with it. I was getting caught up in the SEO and readability of my posts. Then also things like whether the post was in my niche and whether people would read it.
For along, time Julie and Julia was one of my favourite films, even now it still is in the Top Ten. I loved how she’d cook and then blog about it and somehow the readers would come. Okay I get it wasn’t that simple and when Julie Powell was blogging about the Julie/Julia Project. It was 2002/2003 and blogs were a new thing as well as holding down a day job. We were on dial-up and it was all about MSN Messenger!
Oh and of course the film gives a more glamourised version of what was going on. I used my Cineworld Unlimited card to go and see it at the cinema. By myself of course! I got home took my copy of The Joy of Cooking by Irma Raumbauer off the bookcase. Then learnt how to make scrambled eggs properly. Wasn’t rocket science but up until then I had almost been scared of getting it wrong or something.
But I wanted to be that kind of blogger. And here is the issue. I think comparison and FOMO got the better of me. Rather than putting fingers to keys (or on the screen as I write this from bed when I should be sleeping!) I’d save yet another draft to my blog and then analyse and edit it until I was frustrated rather than happy and leave it there forever to be a draft and not to be read outside of the draft folder. Then I’d analyse the photos I’d taken and still not happy I would save the post again and back it would go into the draft folder. I think at last count I had around 20 drafts. Time to get them out into the world I think.
So here we go a line in the sand. I’m going to try to write for me. For the thoughts that belt around my head at midnight. For the thoughts that mean when my body is saying good night my brain is pleading “just five more minutes” in the way Jaxon does to avoid bedtime or to avoid going to school or church.